Monday, May 17, 2010

The Last Couple of Weeks...

So this last couple of weeks is not what I wanted...not what I expected...I was fired up...I was ready to hit it...and hit it with a vengeance! Well that was not to be...after my first little run after the 1/2 I felt a little twinge in my knee...that little twinge has gone from a twinge to a very sore knee...A knee that protested every time I sat down, stood up, or went down the stairs....So no running! So I decided that this was my fault...I wasn't ready to do what I asked myself to do with the distance of the 1/2....and that since it was my fault that I was going to do everything I could to repay my poor knees back....So I did...but in the heart just wasn't in it...I dreaded the workouts...even my swimming...which is not like me. I mean sometimes it is hard to get out the door after I finally get everything done and get the kids to bed...but it is a welcome relief once I slid into the water and I get time to be alone with me and my thoughts...just me and the water, but that isn't how I felt...I dreaded it! I've really really struggled with not being mad, frustrated, and just ugh...mad! I've struggled with whether I'm just wanting to get back to what I want to be doing....or if I really just don't like doing this....I have given myself pep talks about how lucky I am to be able to do what I'm doing, and that this all part of taking care of myself to do what I'm doing....I've told myself how much I love love love this new life that I've so carefully carved out for myself....I am proud to say that I am very close to coming out of this little funk...and I hope that it made me stronger...I've done the workouts...I've put them in the bank...and so physically I'm stronger...but I really hope that I've learned what I needed to out of this...I'm looking forward to this next week even if it is a little different than what I would like to be doing...but I will continue to push through this...hopefully with a more cheerful attitude this week! I did have the most incredible experience this weekend that I can't wait to write about though...and I think that experience is what it really is all about! Lulu

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