The Questions Revisited

So I posted these question about 3 months after I very first decided to get off my butt with a purpose....with a goal in mind....My goal? A triathlon in my home state...a good excuse to get home for a visit with a purpose...and a real big reason to move and become athletic! I was overwhelmed with alot of crazy questions...and now I would like to see how many I can answer 3 months after the fact....
My goal has been forced to change...due to my husband starting a new schedule with school I won't be able to make it home to do my first Tri there....and I am still debating on whether I will be doing a tri or a dual....time will tell.
So onto the questions

1. can I do it?.....While I am still struggling with the swimming and the lack of time that I have to get better with the swimming....that aside I am truly shocked at the improvements that have been made to this body of mine...I think all the time why didn't I ever run...the changes to ones legs make it totally worthwhile! I now think instead of can I do it can I place? How can I keep shaving off time with my runs?

2.why do I want to do it?....I still wonder some days....but I really think that I want to do this because I want something for me that is mine...and it feels great...I mean to look at my body and think what it has been through in the last few years and think of what it can do in the short amount of time that I have been at this? It really excites me to think of what it will be able to do by next year! I also love the feeling of sharing what I am doing and being part of this bigger group of people that are athletic and focused in on these great sports! Oh and even though it's for myself I want to be the Mum that my kids look at in a few years and say to the person standing next to them, "Hey that's my Mum out there!" And better yet in a few more years than that I want them to be right there with me!

3. what was I thinking?.... I don't know but I'm sure glad I was thinking it!

4. will this even work out scheduling wise? It has been hard at times...but it's working...things are about to make a big change with scheduling again...but now it's really important to me so we will make it work!....As far as what races I can make work....I might not always get the race of my choice, that's ok, because there is always a different one out there that we can all make work!

5. can I place? It's a shot in the dark! But it sure is fun working at it and trying!

6.when is my husband going to start supporting this? We had a rough few months....And I found out that he was worried about me...running by myself, biking on our roads, and mostly didn't think that it would work for me to go to Maine for a race this year with all that will going on...So we did what we always do made some promises and compromises! And now it's "Good Luck with the run" and "How was your run?" when I get home! So much better!

7. when is my husband going to lose it on me and say enough is enough? Well he hasn't yet....but he definitely isn't above the rolling of the eye when I get too obsessed!

8.why do I have all these questions? For the same reason that we question anything....the unknown....and you know what I have a whole new set of questions now.

9. is my body going to let me do this? Can't say that the body isn't still protesting at times.... but it is alot more giving than it used to be! I can't believe that right before I started this that I had just been to the doctor with strange unexplainable very painful joint pain....after many specialist we found that I have psoriatic arthritis. They tell I'm not hurting myself so I will keep going until I can't....and you know what I feel so much better!

10. are my knees really supposed to hurt like this? I still don't know....but I don't think so....good news is they hurt alot less now, and when they do it's not as bad...but thank god for frozen peas they have been awesome friends through this last fall....

11. why am I so afraid of water? Still don't know working on it and getting maybe marginally better.

12. what am I going to do to get over it? I don't know....so I keep plugging along...I feel better so I guess it's working some....? I've had suggestions anywhere from stick your face in a bowl of water and learn how to breathe that way....to take a lifeguard class....neither of which I've tried...but I'm thinking of the bowl trick....maybe?

13. how am I going to pay for all this? Turns out you save and pinch pennies everywhere....and my birthday, and Christmas were kind to me, so I'm a little closer to having what I want....Still would like a nice new bike....but the old one with new tires will have to do for my first race for now....

Wow it's amazing how many questions just answer themselves with a little time....Like I said I have a whole new set now! (but that's for tomorrow!) LuLu