Friday, September 17, 2010

I took the break....I felt guilty about the break...and then I felt disgusted with myself...all because I thought that I had lost so much ground that I wouldn't get it back before my last race of the year....Well it turns out just maybe I will get what I want out of this last race....
I have this idea of a time that I would like to achieve with this race because it is the anniversary of my first 5k....I remember that race with the fondest of memories...I felt like I had achieved so much when I did it....but yet I would like to go back and blow it out of the water! I was on the track for this...and then well then I took that break!
I have been trying to convince myself it didn't matter...but well with me things like that matter....I hate the feeling of going backwards! I have no one to blame but I decided that well guess what honey you made the decision so it's time for you to be smart and make some new goals based on where you are at!
I started out with a run earlier this week to see where I might be at....I set a goal for mileage...and then a goal for a nice little track workout in the middle of the run! This is where it really really started to suck for me! I missed my goal by 30sec. I worked my heart out on that I thought.....left some pride and the contents of my stomach out there on that track.....and I fell short...but that was what this workout was all about...finding out where I truly am now....Next up a nice little run pushing the kids....I've been avoiding pushing them in the jogger lately due to some shoulder pain that I've been dealing with....but I figured you know what you better get out there and do it! So I did and well I did better than I thought I was going too! And then my favorite part of the week! Well I headed out to run on the treadmill at 8pm....UGH! I hate doing it but it was the time I had avail. So I made the best of it....I decided to really really push and work harder than I thought was possible....Well I did and it turns out that maybe I didn't work my heart out on that track! Because I hit my goal pace that I had wanted on that track workout and then I passed it up by 30 sec.! When I finished I stood there on that treadmill and thanked my body for what it has done in the last year....I thanked myself for the break....I thanked friends who have stood by me and encouraged me! I thanked my former coach for all that she taught me...and for teaching me how to hang on and push! If you are reading this Ange? Thank you for all that you taught me and for being such an inspiration!
So here I stand thankful and ready to do this race....I still don't know if I will get the PR that I'm hoping for....but I'm fired up and ready to try!

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